The Spanish psychologist Javier Urra says there is a pandemic subsidiary violence in countries such as Portugal and Spain, where cases of mothers and fathers mistreated by the children grow up, they know "how easy to be tyrant."
"Learning to be a little dictator is very easy, it is very convenient. It is very easy to be tyrant if we have someone who accepts to be a slave, "he says in an interview with Lusa agency psychologist and Spanish therapist who has now released the book" The Little Dictator grew "(the books Sphere), a kind of work sequel" The Little Dictator, "which since 2007 has sold 33,000 copies in Portugal and is now in its 18th edition.In Spain alone, the complaints of mistreatment of children from parents increased from about 2,300 in 2007 to almost 5,000 in 2014.
"We are facing a pandemic subsidiary violence," Javier Urra takes in his new book, noting that more and more families living with the reality of mistreatment or violence by children.
They are threats, assaults or insults. The attack begins "in very young children," who insult or spoil things. After threatening and then pass to poor oral / emotional tract and, in certain cases, affect the physical violence.
In 10 years, since the publication of the book "The Little Dictator," Urra insists that even if the reality has not gotten worse, certainly not better.
"Parents let themselves be blackmailed. In Portugal and Spain, we have few children, but we have many who rebel against their parents and even against their grandparents, "he told Lusa.
According to estimates gathered by the team of Javier Urra, 65% of offenders are men and 35% are girls. Mothers are mostly the victims.
"As often mothers, gender-based violence may increase. If a guy attack the mother, it is likely that tomorrow mug to his companion, "believes the author, who was the first Ombudsman for Children in Spain.
Javier Urra has no doubt that there is more violence of parents against children than otherwise, but still know they are more and more families living with the reality of filio-parental violence, unthinkable a few years ago, and silenced, by shame and guilt.
"I'm for years trying to be spokesman of those who cry in silence, telling their dramatic situation, ensuring that they are not always guilty," the author writes in the new book, emphasizing the desperate situation in which spend their parents when they reach having to report their children, including justice.
It has gone from a society in which children had no rights and reversed completely standard: "Children feel kings, tyrants, dictators. Everything revolves around him. "
Proof that violent children are increasing is the turnout at the treatment center run by Javier Urra, a few dozen kilometers from Madrid, where flock an average of 100 children a year, despite a month of treatment remain above four thousand euros - more than a thousand euros supported by educators and the rest with support from the Spanish Ministry of Health.
In four years at this psychologist treatment program have passed close to 370 children and young people, most with 16, 17 and 18. Three out of four cases are recoverable, with Javier Urra to admit that usually gets young people who commit the most serious crimes or whose relationship with parents is almost finish line.
For about a year, these young people remain at the center of Urra, 70 kilometers from Madrid - that has already been approached by two Portuguese families - where parents must attend three times a month: one for individual therapy, another for therapy couple and a third for therapy in parent groups. Moreover a monthly meeting with the children.
"In the first 15 days, parents and children can not even talk by phone. And for almost a year they are separated. It is necessary to separate the surrounding environment is very contaminated. Children are at all times; no school, yes, but within the 'campus', "writes therapist, referring to the center where more than a hundred people.
It is a closed site, a foreclosure, but the child must be absolutely circumscribed and limited, argues Javier Urra, who does not hide his ambition to open a center in Portugal counterpart.
However, this desire would only be possible with ministerial support, since the treatment, like himself acknowledges, "it costs lot of money" to be fully borne by families.